I hate trying to be funny to a deadline.<\/p>\n
I was going to write this:<\/p>\n
\nDear Kelly,<\/p>\n
So you remember in high school, when I asked if you would go on a date with me?<\/p>\n
You paraphrased the Old Testament when you answered: “The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day that I would go out with you!”<\/p>\n
Just to let you know, I’ve booked a table for two on Tuesday night<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Julian\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There’s a germ of an idea there, but it isn’t funny enough.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, the eclipse is tomorrow, and I don’t have time to mull it over more.<\/p>\n
Do I need to drop the religious angle? Drop the loser-in-love angle? Add a pop culture reference? Link it to the man-in-the-moon<\/a>? Is the rest of the internet making the same joke? I dare not look; it’ll be depressing<\/a>.<\/p>\n
What would you have done?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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