A relationship built on honesty and trust is like a tower built from steel-girders. It can grow to be a magnificent spire, that rises high into the air; it can be a thing of great beauty and widely admired!
But it is fragile. It relies on the strength of every single girder. It only takes one weak link – one dishonesty, one betrayal of trust – to bring the whole relationship tumbling done.
Now, a relationship built on dishonesty and distrust is a quivering web of springs.
It will never grow tall, and it doesn’t get much admiration, but at least it is stable! An accidental honesty or the occasional keeping of a trust doesn’t cause the relationship to fail. It will survive, reshaping and adapting to new stresses, forever!
If you want a long-term relationship to be stable, you should build it on lies.
I have explained my hypothesis to a handful of people. (To the irony-blind, my tongue was firmly in my cheek.) I have been amused by the split in the reactions.
The men have laughed and nodded; sometimes expanding on the analogy. The women who have heard the theory have tsk-tsked and shaken their heads.
My favourite two reactions from women to my dodgy claims that relationships should be built on lies:
“You are so lying to yourself!”
“So, you’re single then, right?”