OddThinking

A blog for odd things and odd thoughts.

My Zombie Plan Plan

I justed want to clarify a small part of my political platform.

When I become President of Australia, it will not be illegal to publish your Zombie Plan, your Velociraptor Plan, your Time-traveller-stranded-in-the-past Plan or your Last-person-alive-on-Earth Plan.

However, your plans will be required, by law, to include references to at least three of your previously published plans for reality-based disasters. The government-approved list will include items such as:

  • Waking to the sound of a smoke-alarm
  • Discovering someone has collapsed
  • Approaching bushfire*
  • Imminent flooding*
  • Moderate earthquake*
  • Hard-drive failure
  • Snakebite*
  • Flat tyre

You are welcome to continue to come up with ridiculous, over-considered disaster scenarios, and fantasize about rising above them as a hero, but only once you have eaten your vegetables.

* Only counts towards tally if you live in a prone area.


People pointing out that I have an elaborate “President of Australia” plan, but haven’t yet published my flat tyre plan will be fed to my pet velociraptor when I am President. Besides, I have published my hard-drive failure plan.


Comment

  1. Allow me to be the first to submit my “Waking to the sound of a smoke-alarm” plan: Poke it with a stick until it shuts up. Return to sleep.

    Always worked for me so far…

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