OddThinking

Dear Amateur Sign Writers,

We at OddThinking are pleased to announce a new copy-editing service. We’ll edit your signs for legibility and clarity for a low, low price.

Why should you use our services?

One reason is to prevent implying your customers are prostitutes. You can’t leave this task to the unskilled.

Here are a couple of examples of the improvements we could help you with. Today’s real-world examples come from doors of hired halls:

This sign reads:

For Safety
Reasons, this
door now
opens
outwards
away from
you

After extensive consultation and focus groups, we have come up with a different approach.

The new text would read:

PUSH

Try to imagine this in a prominent size and more suitable type-face. (Hint: It won’t be a serif typeface like Times New Roman.)

That was an easy one. Let’s go to a different hall for a bigger challenge:

This sign reads

As part of the license agreement for use of [THIS] hall, the Licensee undertakes (Section 7(a)) that “The Licensee shall ensure that other than in the case of an emergency the doors on the South Eastern wall of the hall adjacent to the [NEIGHBOUR’S] property are not to be opened for any purpose and are not to be used for exit or entrance. The Licensee shall ensure that persons hiring the hall shall comply with all conditions relating to the use of the said doors (which condition is as per Agreement between the [THIS HALL’s OWNERS] and THE NEIGHBOURS]). Accordingly

This door is
not to be
opened for
any purpose

except in case of fire or
other emergency

In this case, the final result is substantially based on the original copy. We just trimmed it down a little, and added one new word:

EMERGENCY USE ONLY

Again, we’d shy away from Times New Roman.

If we can make signs on your doors quick and easy to read, imagine what we could do for the rest of your signs.

As we always say, “sign up today!”